I get to see people at their best and worst; being a waitress means you get to look at situations you don’t want to. Birthdays, anniversaries, first dates, breakups, you name it, I’ve served it with a side of fries. But the most uncomfortable part of the job is seeing couples start to fight, loud and visibly, like nobody around them exists, and they can’t get over that one incident. It’s frustrating because you can’t do anything about it or ask them to leave, so you’re just stuck wondering when to interrupt them to ask for their order.

It usually starts small, a cold silence between both of them while walking into the restaurant and later on, one person is scrolling while the other stares at their water glass. I can always sense the tension before I walk over, and I’ll start with, “Can I get you started with some drinks?” and get back a tight, fake smile and a taunting tone of “Sure, I guess hell have a beer if he can put his phone down”. That’s when I know it’s one of those tables that are going to start an argument with each other.

Sometimes, it’s whispered arguments, others are the kind where they lean forward and hiss at each other, pretending nothing is wrong. A few others start with finger pointing and yelling. I once had to box up a full steak dinner because the guy left in the middle of the main course. His girlfriend sat there crying into her wine. I felt like I was intruding on something I never signed up for.

And then I have to pretend as if none of this happened and go to their table with a smile, fill the water and ask, “Did you want dessert?” while one of them blinks back tears and the other is about to explode. sometimes I want to say, “Hey, maybe this isn’t the best time for crème brûlée?” But of course, I don’t. I do my job and try not to get caught in the emotional crossfire.

What is wilder is how quickly some of them recover. I have seen couples go from yelling at each other to giggling over dessert in just 10 minutes as if I am the one imagining the whole thing. Others leave separately, slamming the door behind them.

Working in a restaurant teaches you so much every day. Love isn’t always roses and happiness; it’s sometimes messy, unpredictable and painful. It’s not my place to judge, but this: if you know you are about to have an entire meltdown over dinner, consider ordering in, just for your sake or mine.